What To Expect At Your First Massage

I recently booked myself a massage because after years of carrying a baby inside and outside my body and 40+ work weeks behind a desk, my back was begging me for mercy. But I had never gotten a professional massage and was excited and nervous about my first time. So allow yourself to learn from my experience and fret not when you book that first appointment.

First thing’s first, they’re going to ask you to

  1. GET NAKED

They’re going to ask you to get naked down to your underwear (if it’s a full body or back massage). The masseuse leaves the room so you can get undressed and is super professional when they have you flip from back to stomach (they raise the sheet high enough so they can’t see a thing as you flip).

Once you’re all settled

2. LET YOUR NEEDS BE KNOWN

Do you have a kink in your neck? A tender spot on your back? Overworked muscles in your legs? Let them know so they can focus your massage time in that area. You’re paying for it so you may as well get the most of what’s hurting the most. I was glad I told my masseuse to focus on my neck and not really the lower half of my body because she dug in there and I felt great after.

Then you’re going to get

3. ALL OILED UP

They’re going to use a lotion or oil when they massage you. Take off any jewelry you don’t want it to get on. They’ll remind you of this when you’re there too.

While they’re working their magic you might

3. BEGIN TO HURT A LITTLE

It might hurt a little, especially if you’re really tense in a certain area, but afterwards your body will feel the best it’s felt in a very long time. They also tell you to speak up if they’re kneading too hard. So it’s up to your level of tolerance. I didn’t say anything because I REALLY wanted her to get out those kinks.

But even though it might hurt a little…

4. YOUR BODY IS GOING TO START SINGING

You’re going to have the odd sensation of pleasure and pain at the same time. Pain as they’re kneading out all your ball of nerves, and pleasure as you feel your body start to release all of that tension.

Then you can finally begin to

5. RELAX

You’re going to feel very relaxed. I mean VERY relaxed. Think like falling asleep, you almost fart in public during yoga relaxed.

So naturally you’re next thought is going to be

6. DON’T FALL ASLEEP/FART/DROOL

Because there’s only 2 people in the room. It’s not like you can play it off…

Just when you think you might fall asleep…

7. THEY FIND A TENSE MUSCLE/NERVE YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD

You’re going to realize that you have tense muscles where you didn’t realize your muscles were tense. I thought my neck was my only point of muscle and nerve tension but man was I wrong. She started kneading into different parts and reality hit me. Hard.

You start recovering from the fact that your body is slowly turning in on itself when you

8. LOSE TRACK OF TIME

You’re going to lose track of time. I could have sworn my massage only lasted 30 minutes. But when she said she was done I looked at the clock and saw that an hour had gone by. Now if time could do the same thing at work….

Finally, you get dressed, gather your things and head home but don’t forget to

9. DRINK LOTS OF WATER.

9. You’re going to be very thirsty after. Your body needs the water after a massage. Something about the water in your body was tied up and not circulating well with all that tenseness going on and after you get a massage it flows right through. Which also means it’s exiting your body, meaning you need to get water so you don’t dehydrate. Something like that, but don’t quote me.

So was that enough to convince you to get a massage? Good, because you deserve it.

 

 

 

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