Descending the Mountain

Change comes slow.

It’s not always marked by an event. Sometimes it starts with changing a thought.

Like getting healthy, it’s not one singular event that you say “Now, I am healthy.” It’s a lifestyle and it starts with saying “I care” Care for your body, care for your mind, care for your soul.

Regression is so easy to fall into.

Especially when we’re not forgiving of ourselves.

I want to see abrupt ends and sudden triumphs but forget that stopping a bad habit isn’t like going down a smooth hill until you finally reach the bottom where the habit exists no more. It’s more like slowly descending from a mountain only to face hills and valleys the entire way back to safety.

Every valley you hit and every hill you ascend has the potential to land you back where you started. For change to be lasting you have to change your narrative. You have to tell yourself things like “I deserve care” “I deserve respect” “I deserve love” “I am enough”. When you believe that narrative you will be taken aback by your  will to blow through the hills and valleys. It’s not enough to know that what you had wasn’t good or it was unhealthy or even made you unhappy. You have to believe that what you’re after on the other side that YOU ARE deserving of that much glory.

I have many mountains to descend from yet, and many more hills and valleys before me. But it’s time that instead of saying I’m not deserving of happiness, to show compassion to myself and believe it in my heart that I am.

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