Thursday Night Thoughts

Where are you purpose?

Where can I find you?
You can’t really call yourself a blogger if you’re not blogging. And it’s not for lack of inspiration that I haven’t written. It’s for too many ideas that I can’t wrap my head around one idea long enough. Some things I’ve written are too intense to share. But I’ve been mulling over this for a few days and finally pulled it together to write.

It seems like many people my age are in a crisis about finding purpose in their life, myself included. I believe it has to do with the lie we were told that we should have figured out our life passion by now and dedicated our heart and soul to it and be on our linear career path. It sure seems to work that way for some. But for many like myself there was never an aha this is what I should do with the rest of my life like it did for Mother Theresa when she was 14. 

And what I’ve concluded is that we first have to decide what kind of life we want to live. We are fortunate enough to see and maybe even know people who are very rich, famous, powerful, self-employed, live long lives or have big happy families. But I’ll ask you who do you know that has every single one of those things? I can’t think of any of my favorites who fall into every single category.

Take Maya Angelou for example, she enriched peoples lives with her literature, she was very influential and she achieved fame. But she had a rough childhood that was the basis of all her work. 

Another one of my favorites J.K Rowling, she created a series of books that changed her life outcome forever, after being a single parent on the brink of poverty, with depressive tendencies. 

I take a look at the “it” attributes of a good life and I’ve concluded you can’t have it all, and that not one choice is more perfect than another. You have to choose what matters to you most, you have to be blessed with enough resources to be able to pursue that, and you have to be patient.

Having my son made me realize what matters to me most. I’ve come to realize that what I really want out of my life is to have a long life, have a big family, to feel like I have a purpose and to be able to be financially secure. Not rich, just enough to live comfortably. 

After my son was born though I realized that my actions did not always match up with what I value as important. I’ve moved to live near my only family, I am working towards fitness for life not just for a bikini, and being careful about how I spend my money. 

It’s the life purpose one that trips me up though. And sometimes this one comes into conflict with my financial stability goal. I would like to feel the work I do is important and I would like my work to make this world a better place and sometimes that drives me to things that would severly effect my ability to be financially secure ( I seriously considered the peace corps for a minute). And I haven’t yet figured out how I want to align my interests with my life’s work. But I’m making small changes every day to get me closer to that.

For changes to stick I have to take baby steps. I stopped drinking soda and increasing the amount of water I drink so that I actually like drinking water over soda now. But it’s been a 5 year journey. 

Starting this blog is a small step, I’ve always enjoyed writting and my facebook page basically was a never ending rant or rave about something so this just seemed like a natural extension of that tendency. 

And I still have no idea what my purpose is, but as long as I keep making small changes that enrich my life and I stay patient I’m sure I’ll figure it out. After all I’m only 24. 

Photo credit: sidewalk flying via Visual hunt / CC BY

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