Laws of Attraction, the perfect woman and other dating conundrums

With Valentines day around the corner I thought it would be fun to dig into this idea of love life. I say idea because I hear it’s lovely but I’m not sure what people keep harping about (only a tad bit bitter).

So a while back ago I was listening to a podcast on This American Life that talked about the Casimir effect. The Casimir effect is a small attractive force between two uncharged plates that run parallel to each other and are in close proximity. Although its a scientific phenomenon the podcast talked about how people use this effect to explain their life. It particularly gets used to explain why two people who may not have much in common but spend an awful lot of time around each other may begin to have strong feelings for one another. It makes sense to me. Why else are Quinceañera practices the best place to find a boyfriend/girlfriend when you’re 15?

On a slightly different topic I recently read an article that talks about the difference between male and female novel authors in their depiction of a quest for a partner. She mentions how male authors will write about female protagonists in context to their bodies and mysterious allure, whereas female authors (ala Jane Austen) write more on finding an equal.

Which leads me to my next point. Apparently someone built a dating website “What’s your price” where you can bid on women to go out with you. I checked out the “how it works” page, and it looks like a sophisticated (or not) escort service. Men basically are paying for you to go on a date with them. Women (who don’t have to pay to use the site) receive offers and you can either accept or decline the date. I’m not even going to get into all the red flags this draws for me.This guy then took the top features men paid for to build what men consider to be the ideal woman. The results? Look below:

  • 5’9”
  • dark brown hair with dark brown eyes
  • athletic body type
  • Middle eastern decent
  • Jewish (wasn’t specified if ethnicity or religion or both)
  • has a graduate degree
  • non smoker
  • only a social drinker
  • no children

It’s interesting how much research and effort is put into telling women what exactly men are looking for in a partner. I did my own research and looked at top women’s and men’s magazines. Some of the themes were the same in magazines like women’s and men’s health (sex & fitness) but what I thought was interesting is that on all of the covers of women’s magazines a female (model, celebrity, or famous chef) is front and center. On the men’s magazines however it was about 50/50. Half featured men, the other half featured a flawless female model (GQ, Maxim, playboy).

It’s interesting how women receive messages about the ideal that men want from women(just look at the headlines in the top magazines to see what I’m talking about),  and men get this ideal female body type reinforced by the media, but there aren’t many messages to men about what women want in men.

So I decided to make a list of my own (which besides attribute number 1 and 4 describe me pretty well, I must be all about finding that equal partner). Take a look below at my list:

Be a man

Swift as a coursing river

Have the strength of a great typhoon

Taller than me in heels (5’1” on the low end 5’5” on the taller side)

Family oriented

Is tone deaf to tell me I sing beautifully

But has rhythm

Has a problem free philosophy

Challenges me intellectually (not the same as intellectually challenged, Trump supporters seek elsewhere)

I should be able to borrow his shirts or shorts but he should not be able to fit into any of mine

Fiscally responsible

Does not take longer in the bathroom than me to get ready

Enjoys watching Tyler Perry Movies and long walks in the suburbs

Preferably no recreational drug use

Beers, yes, kudos if you don’t drink budlight, coronas, or budweiser

Good with kids

Can cook Chicken Noodle Soup to bring me when I’m sick (ordering from Noodles & CO is welcomed, heating up  Campbell’s chicken noodle soup is not)

Likes to give surprises (flowers yes, finding another girl’s

Non feminists need not apply

I’d love to hear your ideal types both from fellas and women. Maybe I can’t date myself but I can play matchmaker (I know some teddy bears that are THE BEST for Cuddles).


Photo via Visual Hunt


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