I waited all day to write because usually the morning is my time to do personal things before my son wakes up but he wasn’t feeling well and woke up with me at 6:30. He’s feeling much better and he’s been asleep since 9. But I write this on the edge of my bed afraid to move so to not wake him up.
I’m afraid of my 1 year old. Yes. This is real life.
Lately I’ve been feeling that no matter what decision I make, it’s the wrong one. 3 times this week I’ve been asked where do I see myself in the next 2,3,5 years.
When I was in elementary school I could tell you.
When I was in high school I could tell you.
When I was in college I could tell you.
But now that I’m supposedly an adult, I’m not sure and frankly the question turns my stomach into knots.
All I want to do is pay my bills and not totally hate my job.
Maybe it’s because I’m still stuck on survival mode. I’m the sole person responsible for providing financially, emotionally, spiritually, and everything else in between to my son and I haven’t found my groove yet.
I feel every parenting decision I make it’s the wrong one.
I’m conflicted between figuring out what’s the right amount of personal sacrifice, salary pay, and work/life balance. And whatever decision I make is the wrong one. (seriously, there’s a book somewhere describing how I’m ruining my child by taking this or that type of job)
And even if you don’t have a child, I hear from a lot of my peers that their conflicted about their careers/jobs as well. So what is a twenty something to do?
For those who get paid well but are bored to tears I hear that having a passion project that you do on the side, helps the day job go by smoother.
Some people are lucky to be in careers they love, they just don’t pay as well as they would like. In which case I suggest getting creative to bring in additional funds (online surveys, sell something on etsy, become a driver for uber)
And always always always my answer is to figure out your budget and find where you can put money away to save so that when an emergency comes up (your car’s heating no longer works) it’s not the end of the world.
I’m still figuring out specifics. I’ll let you know how it goes, if I go with love, money, or home/life balance, because with this skill set apparently you don’t get all three.